Changing deeply ingrained patterns of thinking and behavior takes time and effort. By taking proactive steps to address the feeling of rejection, you can create the space for deeper connections and fulfillment in life.
Rejecting love begins early from unmet life needs. Emotional needs from the mother or father that go unmet, like listening to you and responding kindly to your needs. Hugging you, making time for you are some important early life needs. Simple gestures from parents, for example, a mother saying, “I don’t have time for you.” Becomes a deep hurt of feeling rejected as an adult. As children, we are not emotionally sophisticated as we are now, and early unmet life needs, get buried into the subconscious mind. Until we are triggered later in life.
Self Love
Rejecting self-love is a journey that begins subtly, often unnoticed. It begins from unmet life needs becoming internalized, leading you down a path where you unconsciously start to berate yourself. You stop giving yourself the care and attention you deserve. You may find yourself disliking who you are and constantly finding fault in everything you do.
Negative self talk becomes amplified and you believe it. It’s a vicious cycle that starts with denying yourself healthy habits. Perhaps you skip meals, indulge in unhealthy eating habits, or ignore exercise. Toxic friendships may take root, or you might find solace in the dim lights of bars, overindulging in activities that offer temporary relief but lead nowhere.
These are the early stages of rejecting self-love, a slippery slope that can lead to profound emotional and physical consequences if left unchecked. Rejecting self-love (self-care) is a harmful pattern.
Notice any negative thoughts or self-doubt that arise when you think about accepting love. For example, if you find yourself thinking, “I don’t deserve love,” ask yourself if there is evidence to support this belief, and consider whether it might be based on outdated or unhelpful assumptions.
How To Heal
Work on cultivating a strong sense of self-love and self-worth independent of external validation. Be gentle with yourself as you explore your feelings and experiences. Engage in activities and practices that nourish your mind, body, and spirit, and remind yourself of your inherent value and worthiness of love. Treat yourself with kindness, and make choices that nurture your well-being.
Self-compassion involves treating yourself with kindness and understanding, especially when facing challenges. Cultivating self-compassion can help you develop a more nurturing relationship with yourself, which can in turn make it easier to accept love from others.
Unlocking the door to sustained self-love hinges on pinpointing and releasing the belief patterns ingrained since childhood, which continue to influence your adult life and hinder your ability to prioritize self-care.
Join Emotional Healing Calls
Self-love is the practice of accepting, valuing, and nurturing oneself on a deep and unconditional level. It involves recognizing one’s own worth and treating oneself with kindness, compassion, and respect. Self-love encompasses caring for one’s physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual well-being, and involves setting boundaries, prioritizing self-care, and engaging in activities that promote personal growth and fulfillment. Ultimately, self-love is about developing a positive and loving relationship with oneself, free from judgment, criticism, and self-doubt.
