Daily interactions cause people to be emotionally involved especially women, who function from their emotional center more easily than men. Do you start off your day happy and content, and while driving to work, someone cuts you off and suddenly you are screaming every name in the book at that driver? Do you want to jump out of the car and point your finger in their face and give them a piece of your mind? I understand, I’ve been there too.
Why did that simple gesture cause such an extreme, emotional reaction? Are you in a relationship where your partner doesn’t honor or listen to you? Does that cause you to be hurt? Do you constantly have to divert negative comments from people to whom you are close? Does this upset you?
All these examples are pointing to emotional triggers. People are gifting you an opportunity to heal, even though at the time it doesn’t feel so great.
Identifying Triggers
Next time you get triggered, you’ll have to go back to childhood to remember an emotional situation. As a child, did parents not listen to you? Or told you to be quiet and not say anything? How often were you given an opportunity to voice concerns? Or parents didn’t have time for you? “Not now honey.” How often did you hear this?
These earlier life experiences hurt your feelings, especially situations when you weren’t given the space to express yourself. This is when you began to “stuff” your feelings. These scenarios create a fertile ground for emotional reactions at another time in life to pop-up unexpectedly—like in traffic.
Emotions
Thoughts have electrical charges and if not properly expressed at the time of the event they become stuffed into the body and mind. Anger and frustration, irritability and resentment are powerful emotional reactive points. Most spiritual disciplines and religions teach us never to get angry. No wonder we have so much anger.
What to do with all this energy? Feel it. Feel the anger and frustration. Stay present with the anger. Don’t throw it away for another time. Often anger feels like a volcano erupting. This volcanic energy is a good sign. It means energy is moving. Triggers are good. They show you what needs to be resolved.
Just remember whoever is triggering you is not the source of the problem. The source is an old experience buried in the unconscious that is not yet resolved.
Six Steps to Healing Emotional Triggers
Determining where the emotional reaction began takes a little investigation work by you. Here are six steps to help you find out.
- Breathing is a great diffuser of emotional upset.
- Center yourself. Pull your hair at the roots or pull the tops of your ears both gestures instantly relax the central nervous system.
- Try not to rationalize behaviors; rationalization and justification does not help you heal.
- Stay present with the feeling right now, in this moment. Do you feel angry, hurt, disappointed or rejected?
- To heal, ask yourself, “What is the issue?” Write it out if that helps you.
- Ask yourself, “When did this issue first occur with someone else? Keep writing your answers until you are satisfied. Don’t worry it will come up to your conscious mind.
How will you know when you are healed? When you are no longer get triggered by the same emotional stimuli. In a healed world, people should be able to speak to each other without the other reacting in any negative way.
Let me know if you need assistance I would be happy to help release personal triggers. Email: info@thevirtualashram.org